Do Resumes need Photos?

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    • #575233 Reply
      Shalom Shore
      Keymaster

      I think so

    • #575256 Reply
      Marci
      Guest

      As a previous dater, I used to not want my picture to be on the resume… however after a few years I decided to put it on. You sometimes hear so much about the persons maaalos but then immediately look at the person you’re dating and decide you’re not attracted to them. So I figured why waste my time on a guy who won’t be attracted to me anyway? Hence I put my picture on that resume to weed out people who either way would not find me pretty after 2 min. of a 3-4 hour date. That being said, sometimes looks grow on a person as you get to know them. I find that this works better on girls getting attracted to guys, not necessarily the other way around. Feel free to comment!

    • #575257 Reply
      Tzippi
      Guest

      I think a picture is important, but pple should keep in mind that many times pple look very different in person than in their pictures, this happened on almost every guy I went out with.

    • #575258 Reply
      Concerned
      Guest

      NOOOOO!!!! There’s more to the person that you actually CANNOT possibly see from their photo. Goodness, where have we fallen!!

      Why don’t guys need to provide pictures???

    • #575259 Reply
      Levi N.
      Guest

      Very important to post a picture

    • #575295 Reply
      Meir
      Guest

      I’m so sick of hearing that! I’ve gone out with probably a dozen girls where I was uncomfortable with the picture because shadchanim have told “well, pictures don’t REALLY tell you what a person looks like” and it’s nonsense! Of course some pictures aren’t accurate. If they are blurry, really close up, really far away, or look professionally altered. But if you see a pretty clear picture taken from a smartphone or something at a normal distance — that is basically what the person looks like! It’s just common sense! And to just make a blanket statement “all pictures are misleading” is absolute nonsense. Even putting aside the time, money, and energy that guys put into (most guys, i’m not talking about jerks) a date that could potentially be completely going nowhere if he isn’t attracted to her, isn’t it also unfair to the girl to get her hopes up and then suddenly let down when the guy says no.
      Attraction is an essential part of marriage, why is it any less legitimate to make sure that is in order than any other thing you would look into. Chemistry can create more attraction but not if the bridge is too far to gap.
      Also, I don’t know a single guy (including myself) who has any issue whatsoever with providing a picture. I could care less who sees it and if a girl doesn’t think that I’m attractive enough for her then it was probably not meant to be anyway. I’m sure there are guys who don’t give pictures but I’d have the same criticism of them as well.

    • #575312 Reply
      Dovid G.
      Guest

      “Chemistry can create more attraction but not if the bridge is too far to gap.“
      I cannot agree more with this statement. Let’s be realistic here, the personality and entire human being can only help so much.

    • #575313 Reply
      RachieS.
      Guest

      This is extremely concerning! I’m currently dating and have been asked many times for my picture. Never once have I seen a picture of a boy who was read to me. Of course I wouldn’t dare ask for a picture – that would surely stain my name to all boys and Shadchanim.

      Does anyone see this as a huge issue? What in the world has happened here!?

    • #575315 Reply
      Netanel
      Guest

      No! A picture does not always reflect on who the person truly is and can sometimes trick you!

    • #575348 Reply
      Gavi F.
      Guest

      Listen, you can complain all you want. I more than understand why this is beyond bothersome for many. However, in the end of the day this IS the situation. Until someone can hopefully change it, we MUST deal with it. Therefore I know as a guy in Shidduchim if I ask for a picture and do not receive it, something is off and worth looking into. It just comes off as a dead give away. Granted it may be due to principle, but that’s just my take.

      Do yourself a favor and just send the picture. I hope one day all these issues should change!

    • #575374 Reply
      Meir
      Guest

      That is so messed up! I can’t think of any logical reason why this shouldn’t be a two-way street — especially for guys sending pictures to girls since the halachos of tznius are more relaxed for guys.

      This isn’t even one of those utopian “if only everyone would just…” ideas. Why can’t shadchanim just ask the guys for their picture? what would be so difficult about that?

      It’s so unhealthy for people to be treating guys like they are kings and girls like serfs. I don’t get it. All it would take is a handful of shadchanim to go against the grain and reverse the trend

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