Today I spoke with a single guy in his mid-30’s. He has coronavirus. He said he feels like he was hit by a bus. Of course, he is at home and self-quarantining. Surprisingly, he has a positive attitude… and a video date tonight at 7:30!
Some people are dating at a distance and using video chat to meet, and others are keeping a distance from dating and putting dating on hold. Whatever you’re doing, it’s probably very different from what you were doing a month ago.
Here are several ways to use this time wisely and prepare for meeting your bashert in this new world of dating in the age of corona.
It’s a great time to reflect on the past year. How has dating gone? If you could change one thing about dating, what would it be?
Grab a pen and paper or your favorite technology to record your thoughts. Instead of going out on dates, go within and find the answers to empower your next steps.
How can you get you out of that frustrating funk while you’re in quarantine?
Start by getting rid of negativity from your dating past. It’s time to clear out your head and heart and make a healthy space for someone new to come into your life. While there’s so much to mourn over, there’s also so much to be grateful for.
Make a list of things you’re grateful for during this time and add one thing to the list daily for the next 30 days.
Are you feeling burnt out and frustrated with dating? Do you feel like you keep meeting the wrong people?
Now is a great time to take a break and reclaim your dating confidence. Use your break to create a personal dating plan that works for your personality so you can attract quality dates when the time is right and social distancing becomes a thing of the past.
Improve your dating profile
A dating profile is the most common form of sharing your personal information to potential dates and/or those setting you up on dates. It should therefore convey who you are and what you’re looking for in a way that stands out from the crowd and is easily distinguishable as uniquely yours. While you’re home taking a mandated break from life, let’s take your profile from “good enough” to “The Perfect Profile.” Make time this week to review your online dating profiles and spruce them up.
Mystery in your history
While meeting someone new is ideal, perhaps now is the ideal to remeet someone you already know. Which means… it’s time to find the Mystery In Your History.
Be a detective in your life and uncover the perfect date that’s been off your radar for so long. It could be an old friend, a previous date, someone who was interested in you or you in them but the timing was off…now is time to bring them back.
Living in the 21st century, the first thing one does when suggested a match is… Google them! That includes your potential date googling you.
Knowing how you are showing up in the virtual world and giving your online presence an overhaul is the best way to ensure that what others see properly represents you and the vision you want others to have of you.
With plenty of offices closing and people being quarantined you now have time to check out yourself online and clean up stuff. That’s right! I want you to google yourself.
What shows up? If something doesn’t represent you, delete it. Of course you can only work with things that you’ve personally posted. You won’t be able to delete things from other people. Focus on what you want online, delete what you want off.
It’s kind of like the online version of clearing out your closet and getting rid of stuff you don’t wear.
Plus 1 perspective
What should I be doing in my dating today? Should I explore more online dating? Should I take a break? Should I ask friends to make virtual introductions?
Today we really need to step out of our normal thinking and look at this time period from a place of curiosity. You’ve been viewing life and dating opportunities from your perspective and it might be time to expand your vision to include alternative viewpoints so you can notice, consider and explore dating opportunities you might have otherwise missed.
Don’t get stuck in old ways of thinking. New world perspectives call for new personal perspectives. Make time over the next few weeks to explore new perspectives and to get out of your head and into a new view point.
Soul mate summary
“What are you looking for?” is the most common, oft-dreaded question that singles get from well-meaning friends, family, and yes, even strangers. The good news is that you CAN use this question to your advantage and have a concise and detailed response you can easily articulate in any situation.
This is important because the truth is you never know who might know your soul mate, so having a ready-to-go response that is appropriate for any person you meet is worth having in your dating arsenal.
Write down your normal response to this question. Then come up with a few alternative answers. Try them on for size. Say them. Do they resonate with you? If not tweak them until you feel comfortable and find one catch phrase you can answer when asked what you’re looking for.
These are all tools you can use on your own, and if you want an online guided version that you can complete from the convenience of your quarantine venue, head over to MarriageMindedMentor.com to check out your options.
May you find your inner peace, your new dating pace and make peace with the pace.
Aleeza Ben Shalom is known as the Marriage Minded Mentor. She is a professional dating coach and the author of Get Real, Get Married, your guide to get over your hurdles and under the chuppah! Aleeza is a passionate speaker and regular contributor to Aish.com and Yated Ne’eman. She works with clients from around the world, as well as, trains future dating coaches. You may also recognize Aleeza from her appearance in the web series Soon By You. She has been interviewed by BBC World News, and NPR. To book a one-on-one or learn more visit: www.marriagemindedmentor.com.
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