The Most Common Problem in Marriages Today [Part 3], By Dr. Meir Wikler

During the initial consultation, I explained to Dovid and Esther what I mean by “effective communication.” Both spouses have to feel that they are really and truly heard and understood by each other. In addition, each spouse has to be able to express himself or herself in a clear, civil, constructive and non-confrontational, non-accusatory manner. This is how I put it to Dovid, “When Esther senses that you really understand what is bothering her and how she feels, she will be better able and willing to listen to your concerns and your feelings. And when you learn how to speak without attacking, you will stand a better chance of your message getting through to Esther.” Dovid took his first step toward avoiding conflicts with Esther when he directed some hostility away from her and channeled